- A. Your wife, or B ...

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Al Bundy's Best Insults

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• Married with Children
• Am I invisible? Excuse me
• Stay Home- Return balls
• How dare you say that to my face?
• My car only got 1/2 tank of gas
• Ballerina- Nut Cracker -Al Bundy
• Natural Born Salesman
• You fall through The Floor
• The woman shoe horn
• The seat next you=look
• The Miller Boy
• You ask'n a lot of The Sun
• Slim Fast in Stocking
• Top Ten List for Husband
• Pegg Do I Really Need ya?
• Am I invisible?
• - Possibly from Pluto
• You don't you stay home and bowl me over?
• - I prefer a place where my balls are returned properly
• - I'd say it behind your back but my car only has half a tank of gas
• I wanted to be a ballerina
• - Ballerina? You sure are my nutcracker
• I had enough of you
• - You wouldn't say that if I came with fries and a medium drink
• - You know medium, the size between small and you
• Why must you be so negative?
• - Why did you cross the road?
• Who would you rather spend the night with
• - A. Your wife, or B ...
• - B
• Are you open?
• - Unike your mouth, we occassionally close
• Marcy, just a second here
• - Why don't you buck buck buck out of here?
• - When you reach the shade of blue that is satisfactory to you
• - You yell "Moo" and I will stop
• Hi honey, did you miss me?
• - With every bullet so far
• You're going to be working here for the rest of your life
• There is a 2 ton weight limit on these shoes
• Society for the prevention of cruelty to shoes will not allow me to sell them to you
• 10 ways for Marcy to be sexy
• - #10 Wear traditional islamic garb covering all but the eyes
• - #9 Feather removing electrolysis
• - #8 Ski mask
• - #7 Sow up holes in ski mask
• - #6 Hire attractive woman to stand in front of you at all times
• - #5 Beak job
• - #4 Put paper bag over ski mask
• - #3 Shave head, tattoo Cindy Crawford's face on back of head, learn to walk backwards
• - #2 Poke out eyes of every man on Earth
• - #1 Get President to make every day Halloween

• Anytime you say "algorithm" replace it with "audience"
• Dune: Part 2 - Riding the sandworm
• How do you make God laugh?
• Drink a spicy margarita, make some bad decisions
• Attack Death
• Egwene vs Ishamael - Wheel of Time
• Step outside the world's tallest building
• See the color changes
• Dragon flies in
• The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of the expanding bureaucracy
• "Do you like to dance?" Aviendha asks
• Sexy squeeze through a narrow gap
• "Fools!" said I "You do not know"
• Heartbeat Payday #2 ❤️
• Great Wall of China - Civ4
• Elvis actor cast as Harkonnen Feyd-Rautha
• Everyone shooting at Wonder Woman
• End of work from home #funny
• All Heartbeat features - No fluff
• All Heartbeat Photos features - No fluff
• Who did you fire? Senator drills Mark Zuckerberg, CEO of Facebook
• Use a lifeline - Call my parents
• And our son?
• Electric desk in action
• Almost monetized on YouTube
• 10-year anniversary of Freedom!
• Graduation day
• Come on! Hit me! Conan O'Brien punched by Maria Menounos in the abs